The New Preamble - As demonstrated by the actuality of the American people

We the People of the United States,

in order to deform a more perfect Union,

abolish Justice,

insure domestic Hostility,

provide for the common defect,

promote the general Welfare State,

and obscure the Blessings of Liberty

to ourselves and our Posterity

Do feign to establish

this Constitution

for the United States of America.

-Dustin Grady